haise's birthday gift smh

[assent]

Haise's birthday is on the 2nd of April and as an idea to ensure he knows people care about him (bc he's a dummy... says Sonia the hypocrite) she had this idea to have everyone give him something that shows him how he's connected with people here in team Audentes, mostly because they recently talked about people getting transferred etc too.

The idea is to have people he knows write something on a page for him (feel free to pick a background from google search, too) and people can either draw or stick in photos as well... kind of like a year book but not???????? If you don't want to write something out, you can always just write an idea of it as well, no worries!

She actually would have started this like a week ago while she was still in her right mind but there we go. [bleak]

Comments

throws self off a bridge

[assent]

[ Her own note is more like a novel, rather than a few words. It wasn't exactly necessary, but part of the whole point of this book was to give Haise something to look at when he doubted himself. Something to show himself that he is cared for, that he has a place in Audentes with the team and that people have positive thoughts when they think of him.

Her own thoughts are a little more complicated with this whole thing which is why it has grown to the size it has, but she has tried her best to articulate it well. ]

[ The first page doesn't have all too much on it, only a small booklet stuck to the middle with the same paper as a cover. Inside, on each page, is a quote representing an idea or topic relevant to him or them.

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten. ]

[ The second page is filled with various photos glued into place. One is a simple photograph from when he's been cooking sometime, humming away to himself. There's another photo in the other corner of her pulling him into a half-asleep morning selfie. Another photo of him with San-D and Cham-P.

In the middle, taped into place, is a copy of her apartment key for woodhurst that he has a copy of. Underneath is a Haiku:

Snow covered Mountain
Evergreens glisten in White
Spring is in the air

The Chimney billows
A warm cozy Welcome Home
My eyes Tear with Joy

On the page are small doodles related to things they've spoken about before, one in the final corner of the squadlings he described to her sketched into place. Surrounding the photos are frames full of stars, swirls and hearts, coloured in to look more like a scrap book. ]

[ The final page is a simple black. She's used a silver pen on black paper, stuck inside a card and envelope that has been pinned in place with velcro. There are two pages stuffed inside the card: ]

Haise,

It is quite difficult to know where to start. Perhaps I should begin by stating that we have known each other for a number of months now, 143 days to be exact, and in that time I believe I have got to know you quite well. The same could be said in return. By spending our time together in Woodhurst as a couple, as much as that may have been a cover, I can say with confidence that you are one of the people who means the most to me here.

I was uncertain of how to put all of this into words, if I am honest. There is a lot I am still trying to understand, though perhaps it is not necessary after all. People tend to search for answers that are either straight in front of them, or not answers they should be seeking at all. That may be important here.

What I feel may be the most important thing is what I have seen from others and their interactions with you, alongside my own. I do not think these things are said nearly often enough, which is why I had the idea to put together this book to begin with. Now I have your attention, let me begin by stating that the idea of this began from a movie, though it was for an opposite emotion. I have changed the motive for it, but here, I wish to express something you have joked about saying regarding myself before. In this instance I merely wish to write down, to document with words, just how important you are.

[ page 2: ]

10 Things I Like About You

1. You are well read, and alongside that it is a wonderful experience to listen to your stories. I am only sorry that my own are often filled with more sorrow than anything else.
2. You are thoughtful, and think of everyone when making decisions and choices.
3. You are genorous, kind hearted and are always there for someone in need either by offering information, protection or guidance.
4. You worry more than necessary, possibly to a fault, but I admit that rather selfishly I am glad that you worry about me.
5. You are warm. Both in body and in heart.
6. It is actually quite endearing when you are flustered. It may be cruel of me to admit it, but I wish I had my camera when we were in the cafe that time, your reaction was priceless.
7. I actually do not mind it so much when you do the same in return. In fact, it is quite the opposite. There is something special about a compliment from you. I imagine others think the same as well.
8. You are you. You exist. No matter what fate my rest at home, here with Audentes, with ALASTAIR you exist. That is the most important thing, and the one thing I would wish for you to never forget. Remember your promise to me, always, and I'll help you keep fighting. I have faith you will not let me down, no matter the struggles that may lie ahead.
9. Every single part of you is special and important, and no matter how you feel about it now, you should not let that cloud your thoughts forever. I am aware of the consequences of parts of those abilities, but I am also aware of how hard you fight it. How hard you try to escape that side of you. You have no need to. There may be times where it is scary, or where you fear what may happen; however, I believe in you and when you finally believe in yourself, I know you will be even stronger.
10. The last is more embarrassing to admit, so perhaps the idea of this will not come into fruition and I may just feel flustered instead. Despite that, I will try to articulate my thoughts. I am not sure how you view yourself, though given what you said that night of the riot, I understand that it is not positive. I am not sure if my words will mean much in regards to this, but you are beautiful. To me, you have no reason to hide.