assent: (57)
sonia nevermind ♛ ([personal profile] assent) wrote2016-10-02 10:09 am
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Carrier: G-Ham pronounced "Jam". A grey palm sized hamster that really loves sunflower seeds to the point where it will stuff its cheeks even when it isn't hungry. Sometimes it may actually send a sunflower seed or two with messages simply because it doesn't want to empty its pouches. For the most part it's fairly well behaved... it's just lazy. Instead of running around it sits in Sonia's hair, nibbles on it and people watches for amusement. For some reason really likes the band Nirvana's music and will fall asleep whenever it hears it.

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quaria: (exposing its weak surface)

[personal profile] quaria 2016-11-05 03:15 pm (UTC)(link)
What?

[ "I had thought that you understood better." Understood what? Setsuna isn't the kind of person to assume things about someone, not unless he has pieces of evidence to do so. He doesn't like acting like he knows something, when in reality he doesn't know anything. That's not the kind of person he is.

All he knows right now is that she's concealing something painful. That much he was able to find out because of the way she always reacts to him... Or how she carries herself at all. She's always smiling, but sometimes, he knows the bright expression before him isn't actually all that bright at all. There's something hidden underneath it all.

Setsuna does want to understand. But at the same time, what right did he have to ask? As long as Sonia doesn't want to tell him herself, then he will never ask. ]


I have... But it does not guarantee anything.

[ They said it themselves, it's only a preventive elixir and not actually a real cure. They're all still looking for it, after all. ]
quaria: my scans. (you couldn't lower your raised hand)

[personal profile] quaria 2016-11-05 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Is that your real answer?

[ Does Sonia really not want to tell him anything? Setsuna stays where he is, unaffected, as she watches her attempt to distance herself like what he's doing. He doesn't actually find it cold, because that's... how he exactly is. It's only as if he's looking at a mirror, to which he doesn't fear; he doesn't fear himself, but he does despise himself to an extent.

A closed heart that does its best to be strong, doing everything it can for the sake of its goals. Someone like him wouldn't exist in the world that he fights so hard for, in a peaceful world where people can truly offer warm smiles to those they treasure without being frightened for their lives or losing something important in a blink of an eye... ]


I am not saying you are useless or incapable. You are anything but that. And because that is so, I only wish for you to remain safe.

[ Someone strong like Sonia... Even if she has to carry a burden that he doesn't know of, he can at least tell that much. She's strong. She's independent. And since this is the case, he wants her to be safe, so that she'll be able to extend her hand to more and more people without this virus to weigh her down or make her suffer...

He wants her to keep helping others like she did that day. ]
quaria: my scans. (be stronger and believe we're connected)

[personal profile] quaria 2016-11-05 04:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh?

[ Suddenly, everything made sense. So this is the reason why Sonia's always giving him fake smiles, and why she's more concerned about others than herself; on why she's willing to hide everything, and instead focus on someone else's sake... Because she only thinks of herself as secondary, with her country first and foremost above anything.

Setsuna has met a princess who thought like this, too. As he thinks of her, his gaze becomes disoriented a little. His sight looks elsewhere even though he's still facing her... He thinks of Princess Marina, and how she did everything just for the sake of her country. Her safety didn't matter to her... And she was often concerned about him like this as well. He ends up speechless for a long set of seconds, wondering how he should deal with this from now on.

He doesn't want to be treated like this all over again. He doesn't want her to treat herself like that, either. But there's nothing... he can do...

He acted selfish once, and that resulted in her befalling in greater danger than she already was. He can't let that happen again... Not to Marina, not to Sonia. ]


No... [ That's not it. But now his heart is hurting upon the realization. He takes a small step back, still refusing to directly look at her. ] I apologize. I should not have...

[ He never should've asked her to go here. Why did he? He can't even... Why did he think he can help? Just because they had a nice time together once? Just because she smiled at him once? He didn't forget about what he is, but...

Damn it. This is why he told her that he's terrible company. This is exactly why he shouldn't be coming close to others at all! He has no capability to even cheer up a single girl!! ]


... Sorry.

[ Lowering his head, he's the first this time to turn around and dismiss himself. ]