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Carrier: G-Ham pronounced "Jam". A grey palm sized hamster that really loves sunflower seeds to the point where it will stuff its cheeks even when it isn't hungry. Sometimes it may actually send a sunflower seed or two with messages simply because it doesn't want to empty its pouches. For the most part it's fairly well behaved... it's just lazy. Instead of running around it sits in Sonia's hair, nibbles on it and people watches for amusement. For some reason really likes the band Nirvana's music and will fall asleep whenever it hears it.
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She has no idea when this happened. ]
You... [ She steps forward instantly then, reaching her hand out to check the ring is what she things it is. ] You were hurt?
[ Whatever straight face she'd had before slips as she looks at him in concern. ] How have you been feeling?
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[ It's not a lie, Setsuna can handle this much. But even if he feels like death, he naturally won't admit such a thing. He dislikes worrying people, especially over someone like him. It seems it's already too late though, watching Sonia's smile falter and disappear... However, it's not as if he can deny this condition of his either. He had to bring it up sooner or later.
Now that it's been revealed, Setsuna can't do anything else but face what may come out of it. He allows Sonia to hold his hand, since it's proven safe to touch infected Heroes as long as they're wearing one of these enchanted rings. He takes the chance to observe her own hands, noticing that she doesn't have one. A silent relief washes over him after the realization. ]
I have been taking the chroma algae elixir, and resting when I can. Even so, you should not approach me so carelessly.
[ Right now, Setsuna is still among the infected. One of the known symptoms is a dangerous urge to devour others... There's no proper cure yet, so it's still best to be as cautious as possible. To protect Sonia, he moves away from her again after she's done inspecting the ring. ]
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It's when he steps away that she actually gets a little annoyed. ]
I shall do what I deem acceptable. [ She tries to shift her face into something more placid, that tells a lot less, but there's a flash of hurt before that slips into place. ]
I have been taking care of a classmate of mine, I am aware of the conditions and can handle myself. Please do not... [ Her brow furrows. ] Please do not think of me as someone who cannot do that.
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But seeing her hurt does affect him despite his straight face, especially when she expresses her feelings to him like that. ]
If you are aware, then you should know how dangerous I am right now.
[ If Setsuna loses control of himself... Would Sonia truly be capable of handling herself against someone like him? She saw his strength back at the forest. She should know that there's no way she'll be able to overpower someone like him. If he loses his head all of a sudden... he might attack her, attempt to bite her.
There's no way he's ever going to allow that, especially by his own hands, whether or not he's aware of it. As much as possible... he'd like to avoid such a thing at all. ]
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I see. [ It's ironic, to her, because she's technically been a danger to many people from the start, but most fall for the smiles and polite words. She's fighting, of course she is, but there's still the fact that merely hours before she arrived here she was stuck in a program attempting to erase her memories of being an Ultimate Despair to try and recreate them to be the people they used to be. It failed, their pasts were not erased at all.
Yet, he does not know that. Nor does she want him to know that. ]
I had thought that you understood better.
[ It doesn't matter now. ]
But try to have more confidence in yourself. You have been taking the medicine, correct?
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[ "I had thought that you understood better." Understood what? Setsuna isn't the kind of person to assume things about someone, not unless he has pieces of evidence to do so. He doesn't like acting like he knows something, when in reality he doesn't know anything. That's not the kind of person he is.
All he knows right now is that she's concealing something painful. That much he was able to find out because of the way she always reacts to him... Or how she carries herself at all. She's always smiling, but sometimes, he knows the bright expression before him isn't actually all that bright at all. There's something hidden underneath it all.
Setsuna does want to understand. But at the same time, what right did he have to ask? As long as Sonia doesn't want to tell him herself, then he will never ask. ]
I have... But it does not guarantee anything.
[ They said it themselves, it's only a preventive elixir and not actually a real cure. They're all still looking for it, after all. ]
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Taking that route, however, will just ensure that she distances herself just as much. She keeps smiling, even if she might want to frown because of this. Her hands slowly clasp together, held losely at her front. She seems relaxed and at ease, even if that isn't the case at all.
She's seen diseases far stranger than this anyway, whether they were real or not, they felt weird at the time. ]
Of course it does not, it is no cure. Still, I hope that it eases your pain even a little. If that is all... I shall take my leave, then.
[ Cold. ]
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[ Does Sonia really not want to tell him anything? Setsuna stays where he is, unaffected, as she watches her attempt to distance herself like what he's doing. He doesn't actually find it cold, because that's... how he exactly is. It's only as if he's looking at a mirror, to which he doesn't fear; he doesn't fear himself, but he does despise himself to an extent.
A closed heart that does its best to be strong, doing everything it can for the sake of its goals. Someone like him wouldn't exist in the world that he fights so hard for, in a peaceful world where people can truly offer warm smiles to those they treasure without being frightened for their lives or losing something important in a blink of an eye... ]
I am not saying you are useless or incapable. You are anything but that. And because that is so, I only wish for you to remain safe.
[ Someone strong like Sonia... Even if she has to carry a burden that he doesn't know of, he can at least tell that much. She's strong. She's independent. And since this is the case, he wants her to be safe, so that she'll be able to extend her hand to more and more people without this virus to weigh her down or make her suffer...
He wants her to keep helping others like she did that day. ]
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So she stays still, and says: ] Setsuna, I am a Princess of a Kingdom far from here, but I was never safe. Even as a child I was abducted twice as people wished for something from my country. I remained unharmed even during those times because I know what to do in a situation such as that. I am not as naive as people believe me to be.
[ A beat, then: ] Is that why you are worried?
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[ Suddenly, everything made sense. So this is the reason why Sonia's always giving him fake smiles, and why she's more concerned about others than herself; on why she's willing to hide everything, and instead focus on someone else's sake... Because she only thinks of herself as secondary, with her country first and foremost above anything.
Setsuna has met a princess who thought like this, too. As he thinks of her, his gaze becomes disoriented a little. His sight looks elsewhere even though he's still facing her... He thinks of Princess Marina, and how she did everything just for the sake of her country. Her safety didn't matter to her... And she was often concerned about him like this as well. He ends up speechless for a long set of seconds, wondering how he should deal with this from now on.
He doesn't want to be treated like this all over again. He doesn't want her to treat herself like that, either. But there's nothing... he can do...
He acted selfish once, and that resulted in her befalling in greater danger than she already was. He can't let that happen again... Not to Marina, not to Sonia. ]
No... [ That's not it. But now his heart is hurting upon the realization. He takes a small step back, still refusing to directly look at her. ] I apologize. I should not have...
[ He never should've asked her to go here. Why did he? He can't even... Why did he think he can help? Just because they had a nice time together once? Just because she smiled at him once? He didn't forget about what he is, but...
Damn it. This is why he told her that he's terrible company. This is exactly why he shouldn't be coming close to others at all! He has no capability to even cheer up a single girl!! ]
... Sorry.
[ Lowering his head, he's the first this time to turn around and dismiss himself. ]
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So she closes off her heart, raises her eyes to look at him head on. There's very little to give away how she feels this time, even if she feels like she's sinking in quicksand. This... This is the correct thing to do, is it not? Before he gets any further miscalculations of her or her character. He was not the danger here, after all.
It was not fair for him to believe otherwise. His gesture had been kind. More than he probably realises. He is a lot kinder than he gives himself credit for. ]
Perhaps that is so, but what is done is done. [ She glances away then, no smile this time. In fact, her face is oddly blank. ]
Farewell.
[ While he walks off though she just stands there a little while longer, trying to work out why it went this way. Then again, maybe she shouldn't dwell on it. A friendship like that, where he gave so much and she was unable to return the favour, how was that fair to him? ]