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[ He was actually fortunate he'd met her when it had been a battle she could actually fight in. The fray against the Jaggers was exhausting to the point where she had started to collapse on him, but her mental state had been strong. After that, everything had gone downhill.

By the time they're out of the forest she probably hasn't said a word in hours. Her eyes are sore from holding back tears for so long, her body aching from hunger and thirst. She'd given provisions away, already knowing the pangs of hunger too well compared to others who might fare better.

She also didn't deserve it. While she might want to fight to prove that in some way they could atone for the past, part of her is still struggling with the memories of it all. She doesn't have her friends to lean on here. There is Komaeda, Nanami and Kirigiri but they were not there through it all and until the end. Kirigiri was merely a spectator and a victim of what they did. Komaeda was even less stable than her. Nanami wasn't...

she wasn't something.

It's hard to let go of the fragile image she even has of her, it's best... to not bring up everything else.

In the end, it just means she just buries all her sadness, desperation and pain into herself and presses the same small smile on her face to offer reassurance to everyone else.

It's why the words in his letter makes her resolve crack.

She's on her own in her room when the tears first start falling. The paper ends up crumpled between her fingers and her other hand ends up reaching out for the pink deer to have something to cling onto to keep her grounded. For as much as he might have said he wasn't good company or that she should have sat elsewhere... it seems that he was wrong.

It reminds her of the time in the virtual world, as spotty as those memories feel at times because she's on her own on trying to work out what happened and what is just in her head now. Hinata had given her a gift here or there, a remarkable thing for someone who cannot claim to have any real friends of her age.

This. This deer. This crate of snacks from her beloved country. This letter. They are all special.

She'd bought letter paper a day ago after wishing to write to Leo and Katniss to apologise for the harm she caused them both, but it seems fitting to reply to this while she can. ]

Dear Setsuna F. Seiei,

Firstly, I wish to thank you for your kind letter. I am unsure of how to express my gratitude; however, I do hope that some day in the future you will allow me to repay you. For now, I am more than willing to accept your generosity.

Secondly, you asked how I am faring, yet did not speak of yourself. I hope that means that you are alright? Please, I would like to know. If there is any way I can help in return, let me know.

I truly hope that nothing befell you after we parted ways.

Yours sincerely,
Sonia Nevermind.

Edited (Typo...) 2016-10-27 00:54 (UTC)

[ A reply would have come. After reading through this letter, Setsuna was prepared to send another reply for the princess. What stopped him from writing another is something he didn't expect. As he was about to gently fold the letter, he feels something smear against his fingertips. And when he lifts his hand to observe what it could be, it doesn't take him long to realize that they were from fallen droplets.

When Setsuna reopens the letter to stare at it more closely, his eyes grow a little. Some of the letters are lightly smudged. He missed it the first time since they are so faint, but it's unmistakable on what the fallen droplets could've been. His expression steels a little, frowning in silence, staring down at what's truly in front of him.

This letter isn't sent out of courtesy or pleasantries. It's not a message of mere gratitude, either. This is an unspoken, physical representation of Sonia's heart. He remembers the expression she made back at the dinner gathering and everything seems to fit into place. These are her tears. She's written such polite and formal set of words, but they only serve to hide what she really wants to say. She's trying to say that she's lonely, but doesn't dare to acknowledge it or show it to others.

Setsuna can't blame the princess at all. It's much easier to not allow emotions to overtake them, simpler to just move on. It's far more difficult to admit their weakness, no matter to one's self or to others. There are various reasons for it, but it's not as if they're necessarily right or wrong in doing so. Sometimes, people have to endure in order to become strong as crying doesn't really solve anyone's problems.

But again, it's not as if it's right or wrong. Because even if it doesn't solve anything... It's what makes them feel more human. He wants her to feel as human as possible. So Setsuna's intention of reply changes completely into something else. Answering her questions about him can wait later. ]

Will you be able to meet with me right now?

[ She thought she'd managed to hide it pretty well, honestly. Then again, noticing something as simple as watermarks when the paper was practically water-coloured over the top anyway made it a little difficult.

His short reply makes her blink though when she glances it over, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands as she tries to keep herself steady.

It's been a tough two days anyway. Trying to forget what the hallucinations made her see was one thing, trying to think of ways to make it up to Leo and Katniss had been as equally daunting. With everything going on as well, she'd only recently worked out that it's quite likely she missed her birthday somewhere in the middle of this.

Trying to work out how old she was now with memories of the virtual world plus real life and despair was... a headache. It was easier to just leave it be. She can pretend that it's what this is, even. It makes it a little easier to accept. ]

Dear Setsuna F. Seiei,

If you may give me around ten minutes, I will be able to meet you. Where should I go?

Yours sincerely,
Sonia Nevermind.

[ She just... needs to wash her face all over again first. ]

[ Most people likely would've missed it. Having watermarks or damp areas on a watercolor-themed paper isn't a bizarre concept. But Setsuna is a little more observant than what's seen on the surface. The reason why he figured it out is because of the paper itself, as well as the used ink. The textures have already aged, so it couldn't have been colored in recently. The ink meanwhile is fresh. If Sonia colored the paper herself, then the watercolors and the ink should've matched.

The weather isn't rainy today, either. And Setsuna doubts that Sonia is the type of person who drinks as she writes. She comes off as very prim and is likely to mind her manners, even if she's by herself. Regardless if she does, she still would've been careful and prevented any form of spill. There's only one other scenario that he can think of...

A scenario that he wishes wasn't the case.

Though considering what happened lately... It only made sense. This realization tightly grips at his heart. ]

Please take your time. When you are ready, come to the courtyard.

[ She definitely wouldn't put anything near a letter if it might get on it, so he's spot on there. Either way, those 10 precious minutes are spent with her trying to use make up to hide the fact she's been crying. It's perfect, really, because by the time she makes it to the courtyard she looks pristine. Like not a single tear has dropped.

She smiles when she sees him, though it does falter when she peers more closely. ]

Setsuna? [ Her eyes flicker over his face, though maybe that's why he'd asked to see her--or at least that's what she assumes by him asking her to meet her like this. ] What happened?

[ When Setsuna faces Sonia, his face is the same as ever as well. Neither smiling nor frowning, he looks at her and slowly nods to personally extend his greeting. Right after, he carefully observes her condition, trying to confirm if his suspicions were right or not.

But it's hard to tell... The princess's mask is a little too perfect. He has to wonder how long she's been putting on this kind of face. It's the complete opposite of him, where he chooses to display nothing at all. ]

Sonia Nevermind. I was not the only one who did not speak of their well being.

[ Of course he would notice something like that, considering his primary action of sending her that letter in the first place was to find out how she's doing. His own questions remain. ]

[ It's probably harder, more tiring on her facial muscles to keep a smile in place when she doesn't want to show anything at all. It's what is expected, or at least was, and is what has come to be a custom for her now. She doesn't know how to do anything else. ]

As you can see, I am perfectly fine.

[ He isn't exactly being open about anything either, which is why she holds it back all the more. ]

I was not harmed. [ A beat, then: ] Were you?

[ So that's how it is. Since this is the case, Setsuna won't pry any further than that. However, he does look at her softly in silence for a while. He's not sure if Sonia is saying it because it's the way she wants to be, or she simply doesn't trust him at all. Either way is reasonable, because he has no right to tell her how to live. She should be the one to make her own decisions, so he won't say anything.

In reply to Sonia's question, Setsuna wordlessly lifts his hand to show the princess a familiar enchanted ring. It's just like the rings that were being given out to infected Heroes, which can only mean one thing. ]

Other than this, I am fine as well. I have been doing what I can in contributing ingredients for the cure's research.

[ Maybe a little bit of both. She appreciates him looking out for her, and she trusts him more than other people here... but. This is difficult. Her face does shift when he lifts his hand to show the ring. She knows what it is thanks to Komaeda being infected as well but--

She has no idea when this happened. ]

You... [ She steps forward instantly then, reaching her hand out to check the ring is what she things it is. ] You were hurt?

[ Whatever straight face she'd had before slips as she looks at him in concern. ] How have you been feeling?

As I said, I am fine.

[ It's not a lie, Setsuna can handle this much. But even if he feels like death, he naturally won't admit such a thing. He dislikes worrying people, especially over someone like him. It seems it's already too late though, watching Sonia's smile falter and disappear... However, it's not as if he can deny this condition of his either. He had to bring it up sooner or later.

Now that it's been revealed, Setsuna can't do anything else but face what may come out of it. He allows Sonia to hold his hand, since it's proven safe to touch infected Heroes as long as they're wearing one of these enchanted rings. He takes the chance to observe her own hands, noticing that she doesn't have one. A silent relief washes over him after the realization. ]

I have been taking the chroma algae elixir, and resting when I can. Even so, you should not approach me so carelessly.

[ Right now, Setsuna is still among the infected. One of the known symptoms is a dangerous urge to devour others... There's no proper cure yet, so it's still best to be as cautious as possible. To protect Sonia, he moves away from her again after she's done inspecting the ring. ]

You are not-- [ She says it sadly though, letting her thumb graze over where the ring is placed before he pulls it away completely, stepping back. She's completely fine, though she probably was struck by a miracle for that happening.

It's when he steps away that she actually gets a little annoyed. ]

I shall do what I deem acceptable. [ She tries to shift her face into something more placid, that tells a lot less, but there's a flash of hurt before that slips into place. ]

I have been taking care of a classmate of mine, I am aware of the conditions and can handle myself. Please do not... [ Her brow furrows. ] Please do not think of me as someone who cannot do that.

[ It doesn't matter to him if she gets annoyed or even angry. Setsuna doesn't expect Sonia to understand him all the time, or at all, so his expression remains unchanged. He looks at her quietly for a couple of seconds, then moves his head to look elsewhere afterwards.

But seeing her hurt does affect him despite his straight face, especially when she expresses her feelings to him like that. ]

If you are aware, then you should know how dangerous I am right now.

[ If Setsuna loses control of himself... Would Sonia truly be capable of handling herself against someone like him? She saw his strength back at the forest. She should know that there's no way she'll be able to overpower someone like him. If he loses his head all of a sudden... he might attack her, attempt to bite her.

There's no way he's ever going to allow that, especially by his own hands, whether or not he's aware of it. As much as possible... he'd like to avoid such a thing at all. ]

[ Her hand at her side moves to press over her stomach, eyes lowering to the ground. She keeps her head tilted up, but it's... she looks disappointed. If anything. ]

I see. [ It's ironic, to her, because she's technically been a danger to many people from the start, but most fall for the smiles and polite words. She's fighting, of course she is, but there's still the fact that merely hours before she arrived here she was stuck in a program attempting to erase her memories of being an Ultimate Despair to try and recreate them to be the people they used to be. It failed, their pasts were not erased at all.

Yet, he does not know that. Nor does she want him to know that. ]

I had thought that you understood better.

[ It doesn't matter now. ]

But try to have more confidence in yourself. You have been taking the medicine, correct?

What?

[ "I had thought that you understood better." Understood what? Setsuna isn't the kind of person to assume things about someone, not unless he has pieces of evidence to do so. He doesn't like acting like he knows something, when in reality he doesn't know anything. That's not the kind of person he is.

All he knows right now is that she's concealing something painful. That much he was able to find out because of the way she always reacts to him... Or how she carries herself at all. She's always smiling, but sometimes, he knows the bright expression before him isn't actually all that bright at all. There's something hidden underneath it all.

Setsuna does want to understand. But at the same time, what right did he have to ask? As long as Sonia doesn't want to tell him herself, then he will never ask. ]

I have... But it does not guarantee anything.

[ They said it themselves, it's only a preventive elixir and not actually a real cure. They're all still looking for it, after all. ]

It does not matter now. [ Because it really doesn't, he's said his piece. She won't step closer while he's being like this, all she can rely on now are her words. If he doesn't listen after that, then she will leave him be. It isn't like he's giving her much of a choice, is it?

Taking that route, however, will just ensure that she distances herself just as much. She keeps smiling, even if she might want to frown because of this. Her hands slowly clasp together, held losely at her front. She seems relaxed and at ease, even if that isn't the case at all.

She's seen diseases far stranger than this anyway, whether they were real or not, they felt weird at the time. ]

Of course it does not, it is no cure. Still, I hope that it eases your pain even a little. If that is all... I shall take my leave, then.

[ Cold. ]

Is that your real answer?

[ Does Sonia really not want to tell him anything? Setsuna stays where he is, unaffected, as she watches her attempt to distance herself like what he's doing. He doesn't actually find it cold, because that's... how he exactly is. It's only as if he's looking at a mirror, to which he doesn't fear; he doesn't fear himself, but he does despise himself to an extent.

A closed heart that does its best to be strong, doing everything it can for the sake of its goals. Someone like him wouldn't exist in the world that he fights so hard for, in a peaceful world where people can truly offer warm smiles to those they treasure without being frightened for their lives or losing something important in a blink of an eye... ]

I am not saying you are useless or incapable. You are anything but that. And because that is so, I only wish for you to remain safe.

[ Someone strong like Sonia... Even if she has to carry a burden that he doesn't know of, he can at least tell that much. She's strong. She's independent. And since this is the case, he wants her to be safe, so that she'll be able to extend her hand to more and more people without this virus to weigh her down or make her suffer...

He wants her to keep helping others like she did that day. ]

[ Her expression doesn't shift this time, other than blinking once and canting her head a little to the side, she doesn't move an inch. Part of her wants to tell him, but in the end that is not only her decision either. Even if she's already let her friends down by breaking down through the hallucination in that forest, all she can do is hope that her words then do not come back to haunt her.

So she stays still, and says: ] Setsuna, I am a Princess of a Kingdom far from here, but I was never safe. Even as a child I was abducted twice as people wished for something from my country. I remained unharmed even during those times because I know what to do in a situation such as that. I am not as naive as people believe me to be.

[ A beat, then: ] Is that why you are worried?

Huh?

[ Suddenly, everything made sense. So this is the reason why Sonia's always giving him fake smiles, and why she's more concerned about others than herself; on why she's willing to hide everything, and instead focus on someone else's sake... Because she only thinks of herself as secondary, with her country first and foremost above anything.

Setsuna has met a princess who thought like this, too. As he thinks of her, his gaze becomes disoriented a little. His sight looks elsewhere even though he's still facing her... He thinks of Princess Marina, and how she did everything just for the sake of her country. Her safety didn't matter to her... And she was often concerned about him like this as well. He ends up speechless for a long set of seconds, wondering how he should deal with this from now on.

He doesn't want to be treated like this all over again. He doesn't want her to treat herself like that, either. But there's nothing... he can do...

He acted selfish once, and that resulted in her befalling in greater danger than she already was. He can't let that happen again... Not to Marina, not to Sonia. ]

No... [ That's not it. But now his heart is hurting upon the realization. He takes a small step back, still refusing to directly look at her. ] I apologize. I should not have...

[ He never should've asked her to go here. Why did he? He can't even... Why did he think he can help? Just because they had a nice time together once? Just because she smiled at him once? He didn't forget about what he is, but...

Damn it. This is why he told her that he's terrible company. This is exactly why he shouldn't be coming close to others at all! He has no capability to even cheer up a single girl!! ]

... Sorry.

[ Lowering his head, he's the first this time to turn around and dismiss himself. ]

[ Of course her country was supposed to be first, but she already destroyed that. Granted, with that in mind she still can't help falling back onto the habit of it. Even during the Neo World program she told Hinata that despite being surrounded by her "friends" she did not feel like a regular girl. She may never be, simply because of her upbringing.

So she closes off her heart, raises her eyes to look at him head on. There's very little to give away how she feels this time, even if she feels like she's sinking in quicksand. This... This is the correct thing to do, is it not? Before he gets any further miscalculations of her or her character. He was not the danger here, after all.

It was not fair for him to believe otherwise. His gesture had been kind. More than he probably realises. He is a lot kinder than he gives himself credit for. ]

Perhaps that is so, but what is done is done. [ She glances away then, no smile this time. In fact, her face is oddly blank. ]

Farewell.

[ While he walks off though she just stands there a little while longer, trying to work out why it went this way. Then again, maybe she shouldn't dwell on it. A friendship like that, where he gave so much and she was unable to return the favour, how was that fair to him? ]

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